Searchin' My Soul（オープニング）／Neighborhood／Baby Don't You Break My Heart Slow／Maryland／Hold Out／Lucky Life／The Wildest Times of the World／Tell Him／Psycho Theme／Drowning in My Own Tears／Mischief and Control／Hemisphere
※全曲“Vonda Shepard（ヴォンダ・シェパード）“によるパフォーマンス

ハーバード大卒、新米弁護士アリー・マクビール27歳。人も羨むようなエリートライフとは裏腹に、美人じゃないし胸は小さいし彼氏はいないしと内に秘めたコンプレックスは大いにある。そんなある日、上司のセクハラを受け訴えたら、あろうことか自分がクビになってしまった。ばったり会った同級生の経営する法律事務所に拾われて行ってみると、いとしの元恋人ビリーとまさかの再会。甘酸っぱいファーストキスの思い出にひたる…暇もなく、“実は結婚したんだ”と衝撃の告白を受ける。ショックのあまり胸に矢がささる想いのアリーだが、「ぜんぜん平気、問題ないわ。」と強気の発言。苛酷な環境に身を置くことになってしまったアリーの新生活は？
エピソードガイド（英文）：Harvard Low alumna Ally McBeal gets fired by her fast-track firm after a senior partner puts the moves on her. Her classmate Richard Fish hires her for his new firm-where her Harvard ex-boyfriend, now married, happens to work. Ally tackles her sexual harasser in court, copes with the creative chaos of Cage/Fish and Associates, and tries to break the spell of old emotions.

★冒頭でアリーがビリーとの甘酸っぱい初恋を思い出す回想シーンでのナレーション：
Ally ： “Be Careful whom you kiss when it's your first kiss”
――ファーストキスの相手は慎重に選ばないといけないわ。

Ally ： “It was too much - I actually felt my whole body tingle”
――（ファーストキスの瞬間）全身がぞくぞくするほど緊張したわ
★リチャード・フィッシュの口癖：

Richard:“Bygones!”
――前向きにいこう！

Searchin' My Soul（オープニング）／Pearl's A Singer／Grain of Sand／Leave It To Beaver Theme

お節介秘書エレインの情報によると、昔の恋人ビリーが男だらけの婚約パーティーで売春婦とエッチしたらしい。あのビリーが浮気をするなんて――大ショックのアリー。そんな折りアリーは、上司リチャードの超年上の彼女と、顧客の青年とのキスシーンを目撃。それを知ったリチャードは、彼女と超険悪ムード。やっぱり浮気はバレたら最後、今まで通りには戻れないの!?
エピソードガイド（英文）：It's a big week for flesh mortification at Cage/Fish and Associates. Cage, Billy, two judges, and Ally’s date are exposed for embarrassing acts of public lust.

★結婚前のバチェラー・パーティーで売春婦とセックスしたビリーをアリーが追求するシーン：
Billy ： “Women don’t have the same sex-drive thing”
――（女と男では）性的衝動が違うんだ。

“This makes men stupid”
――（股間を指差しながら）“コレ”で男は熱くなり。

“This makes women stupid”
――（ハートに手を置きながら）女は“ココ”で熱くなる。

Ally ： “I can’t believe I’m hearing these things coming out of your month”
――何かとってもショックだわ。

Searchin' My Soul（オープニング）／Let’s Stay Together／It’s in His Kiss

恋愛法則本『ルールズ』その1：「電話をすると気があると思われて、彼は興味を失う。先に話しかけてはいけない。会うのは週一度のみ。」今夜のデートのために、秘書のエレインも手伝って、着ていくジーンズを選ぶほど気合満々のアリー。だが、安っぽい女に思われないように、『ルールズ』の教えを守ろうと四苦八苦。やっとこぎつけたデートをマニュアル通りにこなし、あとは帰り際の甘いキスを待つだけ……。ところが!?
エピソードガイド（英文）：Ally goes on her first real date with Ronald Cheanie, and he confuses her by not kissing her on the lips. Ally and Georgia represent an anchorwoman who got fired for losing her looks and is suing the TV station for sex discrimination.

★デートの最後にチーニーがアリーの頬にキスをした翌朝…義理キスに納得がいかないアリーが…：
Ally ： “He kissed me before and we were dancing close. Most men would’ve asked to sleep with me but no. What he did was rude! ”
――前はキスしたんだから、今度は寝たいと思うはずよ

“I’m a sexual object, for God’s sake. He couldn’t give me a little group? ”
――（私は大人の女よ。体をまさぐるくらいすれば？

“This makes women stupid”
――（ハートに手を置きながら）女は“ココ”で熱くなる

★チーニーに自分の本音をぶつける、迫力満点、かつこれまた早口にしゃべり倒すアリーが…：
Ally ： “If you want some Stepford girl with her own apron set, fin, she’s out there waiting to rub your feet. If you want me, go for it, ‘cause I’m _ I’m _ I’m _ I’m it! ”
――従順な女がいいって言うなら結構だけど、私みたいな女には覚悟がいるのよっ！

004. [1. 4] "The Affair"　1997/09/29
第4話　「ラブ・アフェア」
　
大学時代、アリーと不倫の関係にあった大学教授が亡くなった。ショックもままならぬうち、何も知らない教授の奥さんから弔辞を頼まれてしまった。ビリーは動揺したアリーの相談相手となるが、妻のジョージアはしばしばある2人の“密会”が気に入らない。一方、相談の甲斐もなくアリーの不倫事実は奥さんにバレ、挙げ句の果てに手違いから一度は断ったはずの弔辞をするハメに。そしてアリーの口から出た言葉とは――。

アリー・マクビール　ビリー・トーマス　リチャード・フィッシュ　ジョージア・トーマス　レネ・ラディック　エレイン・ヴァッセル　
ロナルド・チーニー　
キャサリン・ドーソン（キャシー・ベーカー　高林由紀子）　
ジェームズ・ドーソン教授（ブレット・カリン　佐古正人）　
牧師（ジェリー・ハーディン　小林尚臣）　
深水由美　伊藤栄次　坂口賢一　

Searchin' My Soul（オープニング）／Maybe I Know／You Belong to Me

Of course I knew he was married. I just didn't want to face it.
I couldn't. I didn't. I couldn't think of myself as a home wrecker.
And I, I couldn't bear to think of him being in the sam bed as...

It wasn't that bad what I did. I mean, I wasn't in a monogamous relationship. I wasn't betraying anybody.

wreckerとは車をひくレッカー。ここでは破壊者（解体業者などの意味が第一義）。日本語でも使うレッカーだと救助車なのに、逆の意味になるのが面白い単語だ。
monogamousはあまり見ない単語だけど、monogamy（一夫一婦婚）という単語の形容詞形。男女の関係を形容するところでこういう言葉を使うってのが日本人にはなじみがなくって面白い。フランス語ではmonogamiqueで、対義語がpolygamiqueって言って、これは一夫多妻のって意味。こっちの方も普段は使わないかな。

How am I going to be a pallbearer?
They want me to carry his body, which brings up my whole, you know...my death phobia, and I'll have to deal with that, too.
I got to carry something dead... in a box.
It's like on the same day I got to deal with two sure things in life...
Death and adultery! Stop letting me talk.

pallbearerは棺を運ぶ人。pallだけで棺（「とばり」などの意味もある）。棺という単独の言葉だとcoffinの方が一般的。葬式の形式は日本のとかとほとんど同じで、違いは教会でやって、お新香の代わりに歌を歌うってことみたい。霊柩車まで棺を運ぶのがpallbearerの役だっていうのも日本と同じですね。うーん、墓地についてからもなんかしたりするのかもしれないけど、このドラマではそれはなかったので、よく分からない。火葬かもしれないし。アメリカの火葬率は三十パーセントほどで、例によって北部では増えているらしい。ちなみに「土葬」はburial、「火葬」cremation。adulteryは不倫。死と不倫に同時に向き合わなきゃいけないのでアリーはパニクっているわけ。そうとう面白いシチュエーションですね。

Ellaine- I told her I would get you.
Ally-Tell her I'll be right there.
Ellaine- Absolutely.
Ally-Oh, God! What do I do?
Billy- She doesn't know about...
Ally-No! No, I, I, I don't think so. I mean...
I mean, she knew that he hand an affair, because, you know, they split up for a while, but , she didn't know that it was with me, or maybe she does.
Maybe that's why she's here. Maybe she has a weapon.
Billy- Ally, she asked you to be a pallbearer.

エレインの答えが面白い。この単語をこういう風に応答で使うってのは、普通に英語を学んでいても知りっこない。東部で使う流行の言い回しとかそういうのかな。
split upで別れる、離婚する。アリーの罪悪感が被害妄想にまで突っ走るのがほんと面白い。

Richard- All set for the big wake? Uh, Ally, come here.
Um, tonight, uh, try not to look at it as a negative.
A lot of his former students will be there.
This will be like a class reunion. Instead of a punchbowl, there is a coffin.
But remember, reunions are meant to allow the more successful graduates to inform the less successful that, that'a what they are. Less than, You and I? We're more than. Uh, especially me. I mean, I'ge got my own firm. I could possibly be the most.
My, my point is life is all about attitude and tonight is a night for you to fell good about yourself.
Yeah. That whole speech was a Fishism.
Hug to get started?

wakeというのは通夜という意味だけど、これはジョイスとかアイルランドだけで使っている言葉かと思っていた。アメリカ人でも使う、というか行うものなんだ。お通夜って。
落ち込んでいるアリーには普通に聞くと鼻持ちならないような気がするリチャードの言葉も勇気づけの言葉に聞こえる。まあ、彼もそれを意図していたと言えなくもないわけで、シリーズ後半になるとそういう側面の方が強調されてきて、ついに結婚までしちゃうことになる。その伏線と考えると、このリチャードの言葉「life is all about attitude」なんか名言にも聞こえるからふしぎ。
んで、リチャードのセリフの次のシーンでアリーが教授に抱かれているのを思い出すのは、彼が「Hug to get started?」と言ったから。これはよくわかんない。吹き替えだと「ガツンと行こうぜ」になっている。ニャンス的にはそんなもののような気がする。が、どう訳しても、Hugが抜け落ちて、なぜアリーの回想につながるのかは分からない。このドラマではアリーが人のそういう些細な言い回しに過敏に反応して、妄想したりということがよくあるのだが、それはやはり英語で聞かないとわかんない。リスニング苦手な人は、日本語で聞いて字幕を英語で見る方がいいかな。というわけで、そういうことが可能なDVDで鑑賞しましょうね、みなさん。

Ally- Billy had him as a professor and, and, and I think that he could, I, I dont't know, commiserata, or, and...
Cheanie ： “Even though you’re no longer a cuple, when you feell about to hit bottom, he’s still the best cushion in town”
Ally ： “Something like that”

commiserateは「追悼の意を表す」という意味。co-miserateというわけ。英語のクッションには「痛み止め」「悪影響を除く物」などの意味がある。日本語の「ざぶとん」にはこういう意味はないですね。厚さが違うからかなあ。

Ally- You know, when you think about it, whoever I end up with, assuming I'm lucky enough to end up with anybody, I cheated on him, too.
Renee- How do you cheat on somebody you've never met?
Ally- Easy.
Whoever I marry deserves somebody who puts a value on fidelity. Obviously more than I do.
Renee- If you didn't value it, you wouldn't be beating yourself up about it.

end upはいろいろな意味があるけど、どうやら「結婚する」という意味で使っているみたい。（例：How did she end up with him? どうして彼女は彼と一緒になったんだろう？、どうして彼で妥協したんだろう？）　cheatはカンニングじゃなくって、浮気ね。fidelityは吹き替えだと「貞淑さ」になっているけれど、夫に対する「忠実さ」という意味で、女性の特質としての「貞淑さ」とは違う気がする。value onは「尊重する」。beat upは「たたきのめす」。

Professor- I wish I could say it was just some mid-life crisis.
Ally- It was just a mid-lif crisis.
Professor- I wish I, I, I could say I was...
Ally- Being sophomoric one last time.
Professor- But it, it's not that.
Ally- That's all it was.
Professor- I love you.
Ally- He loved you.
Professor- If I didn't have any kids...
Ally- You were all that ever mattered to him.
....
Dawson I have to stay with my family. I, I can't walk away from them...
Ally Yeah...yeah...this is just a thing, James...was...a thing I guess...
Dawson No, Ally.You're the person I've always dreamed of...all my life. I just didn't wait long enough...

アリーが教授の自分にかけられた言葉を思い出しながらも、なんとかして夫人に嘘を突き通そうとする場面。sophomoricとは「未熟な」という意味。ここでの文脈でどういう意味になるのかは正確にはよくわからない。「若い頃」というのみにもっと性的なニュアンスを加えた感じかな。どっちにしても和英辞書には載っていない意味だ。足に口をつっこのは何でか分かんない。きっと英語の言い回しか何かにからんでいると思うのだけど……。知っていたら教えて。

Rain check

チーニーが葬式への招待を断るときに使った言葉。雨で中止になったときの振替券という意味。（例：Can I take a rain check? / Can you give me a rain check? / How about a rain check? また誘ってくれる？、ぜひ今度また、また今度にしてくれる？【用法】誘いを断るときに使う言葉）これは使える言い回しです、ぜひ覚えましょう。たとえば、Will you give me a rain check?で、「またの機会ということにしていただけますか。／また今度誘ってください。」これは誘いに応じられなかったときに使うらしい。WillとCanで断りと延期のニュアンスの違うがあるかはしりませんが、用心のため違いがあると思っておいた方が無難でしょう。でも、葬式でこの言葉を使うのはかなり不吉というか、一種のブラックユーモアだ。葬式関係の言葉にも面白いのがたくさんあるので調べてください。たとえば、It's your funeral.と言うと、「それはあなた自身の問題だ（責任持ちませんよ）。」となる。

The minister : Befor we continue on to our next hymn. We should hear from one of James' former
students Miss Ally McBeal. Miss McBeal?
Ally : What do I do?
Richard : Go!
Ally : How can I go?
Richard : Go!
The minister : Miss McBeal? Oh, I'm terribly sorry Miss McBeal's been cancelled.
They said she was suddenly unavailable. Oh, if she is available, we'll be delighted.
Richard : Plug the firm!

availableには「（人が会議｛かいぎ｝や電話｛でんわ｝に）出られる、応じられる」という意味がある。例："Hello. Let me speak to Mr. Yamada, please." "I'm sorry. He's not available today." 。plugは「売り込む」。

See the pyramids around the Nile
Watch the sun rise
From the tropic isle
Just remember darling
All the while
You belong to me
See the market place
In old Algiers
Send me photographs and souvenirs
Just remember
When a dream appears
You belong to me

最後のダンスシーンの歌「You Belong to Me」。Nileなのに、二人とも間違っているのが変、wallってそりゃないだろ？　

第６話　婚約
006. [1. 6] "The Promise"　1997/10/27

裁決について論争中に、被告人側の弁護士ピピンが心臓発作で倒れた。歩く肉のかたまりのような巨漢のピピンに、アリーは人工呼吸を施し、一命を救った。その後、アリーの事務所を訪れて来たピピンは、あの“キス”で燃える想いが込み上げたと告白。ピピンは1週間後には挙式を控えていたが、情けだけで繋がっているフィアンセとは、結婚できないと言い出して――。

アリー・マクビール[※唄も吹替]　ビリー・トーマス　リチャード・フィッシュ　ジョージア・トーマス　レネ・ラディック[※唄も吹替]　エレイン・ヴァッセル　ジョン・ケイジ　
ハリー・ピピン（ジェイ・ラガット　池田秀一）　
サンドラ・ウィンチェル（ジェイミー・ローズ　一城みゆ希）　
アンジェラ・サープ（ラスティ・シュワイマー　林佳代子）　
ハーバート・スピット判事（マイケル・ウィンタース　佐々木敏）　
スティーブンソン判事（マイケル・ボフシェバー　中庸助）　
ドクター・カーペンター（ジェームズ・マザース　城山堅）　
深水由美　大坂史子　坂口賢一　伊藤栄次　棚田恵美子　

Marian: You'll have lots of time for sweethearts. If not Winthrop, then someone else.
Amaryllis: Never, I'll end up an old maid like you. Oh, I'm sorry, Miss Marian.
Can I play my cross-hand piece?
Marian: May I ---
Amaryllis: May I play my cross-hand piece?
Marian: Yes, you may.
Amaryllis: If a girl doesn't have a sweetheart, who is she going to say good night to on the evening star?
Marian: Well, for the time being, you can just say "Good night my Someone." Then you can put the name in
when the right one comes along.
Amaryllis: All right. It's better than nothing.

♪Good night, my Someone, Good night, my love
Sleep tight, my Someone, Sleep tight, my love
Our star is shining its brightest light
For good night my love, for good night
Sweet dreams be yours dear
If dreams there be sweet dreams to carry you close to me
I wish they may and I wish they might
Now good night, my Someone, Good night♪

“The Music Man”より。“アリーmyラブ”Season１の第６話でAllyとReneeがピアノを弾きながら歌った“Good night my Someone"。
子供ながらに毒舌、というか素直に『先生みたいに嫁き遅れたらどうしよう』だの『恋人がいなかったら誰におやすみを言ったらいいの』
なんて疑問にMarianが言葉を失いつつ応えているのがおもしろい。まさにAllyの恐れはAmaryllisと同じだからこのシーンに慰められるのだろうか。

Memorable Quotes from
"Ally McBeal" (1997)

Ally McBeal: There's no sin in loving men. Only pain!
　

Ally McBeal: We're not only wired to want what we can't have, but we're also wired to want what we really don't want.
　

Ally McBeal: You only die once!
　

Ally McBeal: When guys are persistent, it's romantic, they make movies about that. If it's a woman, then they cast Glenn Close.
　

Billy: Why do therapists always have to talk about sex?
Dr. Hooper: What can I say, Freud was a perv.
　

Ally McBeal: Law and love are the same - romantic in concept but the actual practice can give you a yeast infection.
　

Ally McBeal: I'm trying to desensitize myself to murder so I can be a better lawyer.
Billy: Why don't you just watch the news?
　

John "The Biscuit" Cage: Let's not forget that Lizzie Borden was found innocent of killing her parents.
Richard Fish: Oh, she did it; the jury just took pity on her for being an orphan.
　

Ally McBeal: I like being a mess. It's who I am.
　

Richard Fish: You're not who you are, you're only what other people think you are. Fishism.
　

[a judge has just denied his motion]
Richard Fish: Let the record show: dammit.
　

Nelle Porter: You having fun with this case?
Ling Woo: It's okay. I prefer being a plaintiff, but a defendant's nice too. I get a martyr glow.
　

Ally McBeal: I've been dumped before, Renee. This isn't pain I'm feeling, it's nostalgia.
　

Judge Jennifer "Whipper" Cone: No, I don't think you're nuts, but I don't think that you have both feet on the ground either.
Ally McBeal: You mean some people do?
　

Renée Radick: People think you're strange, you know. Just, just sit there and don't talk.
John "The Biscuit" Cage: I am an enigma.
Renée Radick: You're a cute little enigma.
　

Renée Radick: Well, don't get me wrong, Ally...
Ally McBeal: Why does everyone say that to me? Do I get everything wrong?
Renée Radick: No, it's just that what I am about to say may sound like an insult, so I want to buffer it.
Ally McBeal: Oh, okay.
Renée Radick: Emotionally, you're an idiot.
　

Ally McBeal: I mean, with all due respect, you sort of walk around with uppity breasts, and the hair flips aren't the most subtle. And your perfume - you could be flammable. Now what if somebody shut you down as a safety hazard, how would you feel then?
Elaine Vassal: That was with all due respect?
　

Elaine Vassal: A lot of people forget what they're saying in a fit of rage, so I'll be happy to take the minutes.
　

Elaine Vassal: Ally's depressed about her birthday. I know, I've been listening in on her phone calls.
　

Elaine Vassal: I'd call her a tramp, were I one to judge.
Ally McBeal: Yes, were you one.
　

Elaine Vassal: Sometimes she just *looks* snappish.
　

Elaine Vassal: Snappish!
　

[about Santa Claus]
John "The Biscuit" Cage: A fat man, trying to squeeze through a narrow chimney, and I taunt him with Oreos and whole milk.
　

[Ally's psychiatrist plays a tape of people laughing]
Dr. Tracy Clark: Sometimes when a patient says something so competely naive, I find that my own laughter just isn't enough.
　

Elaine Vassal: She's two-thirds of a Rice Krispie treat. She's already snapped, and crackled, and she's ready for the final pop.
　

Richard Fish: Is that the two cents? I'd be looking for change.
　

Georgia Thomas: Well, by all means let's hear your opinion, Richard.
Richard Fish: Simple. Men and women. Friction.
Georgia Thomas: That's it? Friction?
Richard Fish: Friction, friction, friction, orgasm. Fishism. Are we going to dance or not?
　

Ally McBeal: Even if I did get past all my problems, I'm just gonna get out and get new ones.
　

Ally McBeal: Remember, when you're with me, it's the only time you're not the strangest person in the room. So go ahead, get weird with me.
　

Elaine Vassal: In a pinch, I sometimes allude to not wearing any underwear.
Ally McBeal: I won't be in that pinch.
　

Georgia Thomas: Ally, what makes your problems so much bigger than everybody else's?
Ally McBeal: They're mine.
　

Ally McBeal: We're women. We have a double standard to live up to.
　

Rabbi Stern: Are you always such a bitchy little thing?
Ally McBeal: Bitchy?
Rabbi Stern: Coming in here, insulting the Talmud, insulting me!
Ally McBeal: What kind of rabbi calls somebody bitchy?
Rabbi Stern: I'm going to have to ask you to leave.
Ally McBeal: 'Cause I'm bitchy? God has no love for the bitchy?
Rabbi Stern: Get out.
　

Ally McBeal: I am good in bed, Renee.
[Renee laughs]
Ally McBeal: What?
Renée Radick: Ally, I'm your roommate. We have thin walls, and you...
[Renee imitates small whining noises]
Ally McBeal: I don't sound like that.
Renée Radick: I make more noise breaking in a new shoe.
　

Ally McBeal: So how has it come to this? We're smart women, we're fairly attractive...
Renée Radick: I'm even hot.
　

Richard Fish: She told her that you told her about what she told you. I'm in the middle and clueless. I feel like Elaine.
　

Elaine Vassal: I'm sure she's quite stupid, and in time, gravity will get her.
　

John "The Biscuit" Cage: The world is no longer a romantic place. Some of its people still are however, and therein lies the promise. Don't let the world win, Ally McBeal.
　

Greg: You kicked him?
Ally McBeal: I didn't know he was real; I thought he was pretend.
Greg: You only kick pretend people?
Ally McBeal: [pause] Yes.
　

Elaine Vassal: That was a snappish remark disguised in a soft tone.
　

Ally McBeal: Maybe I'm happy and I just don't know it.
　

Ally McBeal: The real truth is, I probably don't want to be too happy or content. Because, then what? I actually like the quest, the search. That's the fun. The more lost you are, the more you have to look forward to. What do you know? I'm having a great time and I don't even know it.
　

Ally McBeal: You loved me.
Billy: Yeah. That's the truth. So much that sometimes, when we were apart, we used to keep an open phone line at night so while sleeping I could listen to your breath.
　

Richard Fish: "Problem" is just a bleak word for challenge.
　

Ally McBeal: Sometimes... there's no point in the truth if the only thing it will do is cause pain.
　

Ally McBeal: The ideia that when people come together, they stay together. I have to take that with me when I'm going to bed at night, Even if I'm going to bed alone.
　

Ally McBeal: Men are like gum anyway - after you chew they lose their flavor.
　

Richard Fish: Everybody's alone. It's just easier to take in a relationship.
　

Richard Fish: Helping others is never more rewarding than when it's in your own self interest.
　

Richard Fish: Let me tell you something. I didn't become a lawyer because I like the law; the law sucks. It's boring, but it can also be used as a weapon. You want to bankrupt somebody? Cost him everything he's worked for? Make his wife leave him, even make his kids cry? Yeah, we can do that.
　

Ally McBeal: Sometimes I'm more persuasive when I lack conviction.
　

Ally McBeal: Uh, let the record reflect that the deponent is a fat, arrogant, overweight, bald pig.
　

Richard Fish: Make enough money, and everything else will follow. Quote me. That's a Fishism.
　

Elaine Vassal: Oh, forgive my bluntness. It's a device I use to cope.
　

Ally McBeal: Whenever I get depressed, I raise my hemlines. If things don't change, I am bound to be arrested.
　

Richard Fish: You know, I had a great aunt once who said if you stare at a beautiful woman too long, you turn to stone. She was partially right.
　

Ally McBeal: [about Billy] He wants to have his cake and not eat me.
　

Ally McBeal: A thigh seemed innocent as parts go.
　

Ally McBeal: Hi! I'm Ally McBeal, homewrecker. Here's my card.
Georgia Thomas: I already have it, thanks.
　

Ling Woo: I am really a very funny person.
　

Dr. Tracy Clark: You kissed him? You're a slut!
Ally McBeal: I... I am not! I am not a slut!
Dr. Tracy Clark: Oh, come on! Don't fool yourself!
　

Ling Woo: It's a problem being beautiful. It's only the handsome men that ask us out because they're the only ones who think they have a chance. And handsome men are dolts. Life is unfair to us. At some point we have to face the certain reality: despite all the good the world seems to offer, true happiness can only be found in one thing - shopping.
　

[on Elaine]
Ling Woo: This woman drips with sarcasm at my personal expense.
Nelle Porter: Ling, one of the disadvantages of having magnetism is that you bring people out, people that otherwise would go unnoticed. The fact that she can be so annoying is really a tribute to you!
　

Ling Woo: Nelle is like a sister; when she's in pain, I throw up!
　

John "The Biscuit" Cage: [to Nelle] I'd sooner puke my intestines and snorkel in them than see you naked.
　

Ling Woo: I'm rich. I only go into work to wear my outfits!
　

John "The Biscuit" Cage: I'm not going through an odd phase, I really am odd.
　

Richard Fish: Objection! Your Honor, this is boring!
　

Ally McBeal: Wow... I have a boyfriend.
　

[Watches Nelle Porter unpin her bun and shake out her long, beautiful blonde hair]
Ally McBeal: It's official: I HATE her!
　

Ally McBeal: Love isn't always enough.
Larry: Yeah, it is. You go without it long enough and you realize it's everything.
　

Renée Radick: A penis is not a share toy.
　

Ally McBeal: Here I am, the victim of my own choices. And I'm just starting.
　

Georgia Thomas: At the end of the day, life is just this big wall of reality that we all crash into.
　

John "The Biscuit" Cage: Have no fear, Nelle, that girl is a bagel!
Nelle Porter: Bagel?
John "The Biscuit" Cage: [pauses] I meant to say 'toast.'
　

Ally McBeal: Maybe I'll share my life with somebody... maybe not. But the truth is, when I think back of my loneliest moments, there was usually somebody sitting there next to me.
　

Ling Woo: So Jackson Duper, you don't tell a woman your real name?
Jackson Duper: Hey, for all I knew...
Ling Woo: You knew me well enough to go to bed with me.
Jackson Duper: Look...
Ling Woo: Why the alias? You wanted?
Jackson Duper: No.
Ling Woo: Certainly not by me.
Jackson Duper: Excellent. Do I get to talk?
Ling Woo: Fine. Quick, think up something.
Jackson Duper: Look...
Ling Woo: We're back to look.
Jackson Duper: Hey...
Ling Woo: We're back to hey.
Jackson Duper: Ling...
Ling Woo: How do you know my real name? Oh that's right, I *gave* it to you. What an odd thing to do.
　

John "The Biscuit" Cage: That's the trouble I suppose in coming at people with honesty, some times they counter with it.
　

[Ally is outraged when Ling convinces a dying boy that he could sue God]
Ling Woo: Do you know how his father died?
Ally McBeal: No. Do you?
Ling Woo: Yes, I overheard the nurses talking. He was crushed by a tree that was struck by lightning. THAT was an act of God, so we go after the Church, HOUSE of God. I need to pee.
[exits]
Ally McBeal: Where does she come up with these things?
Nelle Porter: Well, Ling wasn't editor of law review for nothing.
Ally McBeal: Ling went to Law School? Ling is a LAWYER?
　

Liza Bump: [to Nelle Porter] Do you talk, or do I have to pull a string?
　

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Memorable Quotes from "Ally McBeal" (1997)

Memorable Quotes from
"Ally McBeal" (1997)